Age and the Half plus Seven Rule
by Walter Guest
(This is humor. Please don't prance around to show you're younger than me. I know you are younger than me. this is humor.)
There's a saying or romantic formula or something of that ilk, that the right age for a woman in a relationship is half the man's age plus seven. If you're a chauvinist like me, that sounds perfectly reasonable. So if the guy is 24, the girl should be 19. If the guy is 34, the girl should be 24 and the guy 44, the girl 29 and so on. All quite reasonable, right?... if you're a guy.
I was talking to this Thai lady the other day. She's an attractive older lady who lives in our apartment house. I could see she'd been very pretty when she was younger but she still looked good. Age had put some character on her face. And she'd kept her youthful figure, like many Asian women. I think it's the rice diet.
So we were having a little conversation and she seemed kinda flirtacious and shy and then it seemed like she was embarrassed about something. She seemed reluctant to tell me about something so I was expecting the worse, you can imagine. Finally, apologetically, she tells me she's 50 years old.
I'm doing the math in my head; it takes a lot longer than it used to. So finally I says to myself, hey, that's just about right. I know she can't guess my age because I look a lot younger and my walk is about the same as when I was 40. So, I figure, when I tell her my age, she won't have to apologize so much for being an old broad of 50.
So I tell her I'm nearly 84.
Her mouth drops open, he eyes widen and she doesn't look apologetic any more.
No, I'm not kidding, I tell her because I'm thinking maybe that's what she's thinking.
She doesn't answer. She just keeps staring at me like she's in shock.
I pull out a pen and some paper so I can show that formula to her but she gets up and walks off. She looks back once and her mouth is still open and her eyes bugged out.
So that was the end of that. That's the trouble with women, they're not scientific like us men. If I coulda just shown that formula to her she wouldda seen we were the right ages for each other. But no.